Who wants to live forever? I doubt anyone will wish for such a “boon” .
Who wants to have a longer life ( of course not for ever..but may be up to a 100 years? )…may be many of us will wish to live up to that age.Don't you?
At times, I ask this question myself..How long I want to live? . Well…my answers change according to my mood, the mental state I am in, the stress level I fight ..and so many other factors. When I am extremely happy, I think of living a long life, having a small retirement home near a river side, surrounded by big big trees, retiring from professional life and entering into some sort of philanthropic roles and enjoying each and every moment with my wife, kids, friends and family..wahh..what a dream.
Then there are times when the hurdles in life and stressful thoughts become impediments for any such positive thoughts. May be it is at such times, the devil’s workshop starts functioning. Then the answer to the question would be … i want to die now..right now..not even a moment more.
But then after few moments, when I come back to a stable mood, I realize that my answer was nothing but stupidity..it is escapism of a coward , wishing to bypass the hurdles in life and seeking relaxation even at the cost of life….what a foolish thought..
Yes..Life is too precious. The only one life each of us is bestowed with ..is to be lived in full capacity. It's roads might be filled with thorns and beds of roses in many places. All we need to take that journey is the courage to travel through all those paths until the last breath.. not regretting even for a moment.
Well… one may ask..why this guy ( otherwise normal ) has become philosophical all of a sudden? depression? Frustration?
No...There is a different reason.. I spoke to my cousins sister yesterday. She was attending her father who is battling for his life at a hospital in Kerala. For more than a year, he has been struggling with motor neuron disease, which has slowly degenerated his nerves.. bringing down his ability to move, speak , eat and breath . The only things the dreadful disease could not bring down are his willpower, positive spirits and the desire to get back to a normal life.
I respect him a lot. A very knowledgeable man, who had to travel through a treacherous path is life, unfortunately. He is a god fearing and caring person. He has high aspirations for his daughters and their future.
Last one month has been even more painful for him. Mostly he was admitted in ICU and he was breathing with the help of a ventilator. After trying everything the medical science could do, the doctors said not to keep any hopes. The family anticipated the worst and informed all his fiends and relatives. As per the doctors, people of his condition do not make it longer after being in ICU,.. that too with a ventilator. But he proved hem wrong. He is back in the hospital room, breathing with the help of some portable – ventilator like instrument. Though he is physically reduced to almost nothing, he is fully conscious of everything happening around him.
He communicates only through some gestures using his fingers. Only his wife and daughters understand that language of communication. That makes even a stay inside the ICU very dangerous…as the nurses or doctors inside cannot understand that sign language. Some one has to be with him , constantly awake, looking at each gesture he makes..
My sister said… “in spite of all these struggles, not even once, dad said he doesn’t want to live. He still feels that he would be able to get back to life. He feels that he has not lived life like he wanted to “
Those words, touched my heart like anything. I kept on thinking of the situation.
It seems like the journey is getting over.. but the journey is not fully enjoyed..the clock is ticking.. the unavoidable departure is staring into the eyes.. .. doesn’t know whom to ask for extending the journey by even few more hours..
Isn’t the situation hard...? It is a hard situation for everyone. For him, the worsening disease is dampening his hopes to fight back. For the family.. the harsh reality is spreading clouds over the hopes..they are reaching a point where its becoming hard for them to see him struggle.. for the doctors, it is hard to tell the relatives to take him out of the life supporting devises and end his struggle. They know that even with a remote chance of survival, life ahead would be extremely painful..
What should I wish for ? Oh God..please help him fight back? Or ..God..please call him at your abode? I do not know.
I didn’t know how to comfort my sister…I struggled even to get proper words.
All I said to her was..to be by his side.. be brave to face the situation.
Even now , the words mentioned by her, resonates in my ears…the words that reflect how precious the life is
Oh God.. please help him in his struggle…whatever may be your way of helping him..we are no one to ask for that choice.you make the choice..but please help him.
Jose
Bangalore
6-may-2010
