Precious few minutes

 

To know the value of one year                   : Ask a student who has failed a final exam. 

To know the value of nine months            : Ask a mother who gave birth to a still born.

To know the value of one month               : Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.

To know the value of one week                 : Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To know the value of one hour                  : Ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.

To know the value of one minute              : Ask a person who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To know the value of one-second             : Ask a person who has survived an accident.

To know the value of one millisecond      : Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics

(A quote a received through E-mail, long time ago)

This is my story. Every time I think of it, I get more and more convinced that nothing happens accidentally. Everything happens for a reason. They occur as if planned by someone in minute details. My life, where I am today, the comforts I enjoy today, the social status I have earned today, everything could have been totally different, had I lost few minutes on a very important day two decades back. This is that story...of the precious minutes that secured my life.

It was the year 1996. After completing graduation, I was preparing for post-graduation entrance examinations. I wanted to pursue Master of Computer Applications (MCA) or M.Sc. in Geology, which was my major during graduation. As my role model teacher from the graduation encouraged me to aspire for post-graduation from prestigious institutions in India, I applied to many of them, including Pondicherry University, Anna University, Cochin University, IIT Kharagpur, and IIT Roorkee. Till graduation, I studied in Kerala only. I had never ventured to go out of my hometown for studies. So, I was bit hesitant to go out to far off places for post-graduation. But the constant encouragement from my teacher and the dreams of standing on my own feet were acting as catalysts for my ambition of doing post-graduation from a prestigious institution outside Kerala.

Most of the institutes I aimed were near to Kerala. But IIT Kharagpur and IIT Roorkee were at the Northern part of India. The physical distance as wells as the psychological distance to these universities were huge for me. I could not apply to IIT Kharagpur due to some reason. But I applied to IIT Roorkee, which was then known as University of Roorkee. At that time, the examination centre was only at Roorkee. Therefore, all the candidates had to travel to Roorkee (which was in Uttar Pradesh then, now in Uttaranchal). Due to this inconvenience there were only few candidates from South India for the entrance examination. Mostly it was dominated by candidates from Bengal, Odisha, Bihar and Delhi. In spite of all these odds, I decided to travel to Roorkee and write the examination. In the university’s prospectus, it was mentioned that the candidates must come prepared for starting the academic life, if they are selected. Therefore, I had to go with all necessary preparations for staying in the hostel, if I am selected.

The only time I had travelled to a long distance from home was to attend a navel engineering entrance examination in Bhopal. That time, I was accompanied by my elder brother who had worked in New Delhi for many years. During that journey I was under his constant care. But this time, I was alone; rather I chose to be alone. I was nervous as well as excited to make a lonely trip to one end of the country from the opposite end. Though my brother said he can come with me, I was adamant that I will go alone. After lot of discussions, my mother also agreed to it.

I had to go to Cochin first to write Cochin University’s entrance examination and then from there, I was supposed to travel to Chennai. Almost two days of train journey from there would take me to New Delhi from where another five hours of bus journey would take me to my destination, University Roorkee in Uttar Pradesh. As per the plan, I would reach Roorkee just on time; one day before the entrance examination.

I planned everything in detail. Tickets were booked. My bag packs were kept ready for the hostel life in case of selection. First, I appeared for the Cochin University examination. In Cochin I stayed in Simi’s house who was my distant relative. She is the lovely lady who is sharing the good and bad times in my life with me, my wife. As I said earlier, nothing is a coincidence. Everything is scripted by someone superior. I never thought at that time, Simi would one day be my wife.

I didn’t know anyone in Chennai. So, my brother requested one of his friends to fetch me from the railway station and help me in the travel to New Delhi. The day I finished the entrance examination for Cochin University, I started my journey to Chennai. Simi’s father accompanied me to the railway station. I bordered the train which was supposed to reach Chennai early in the morning. My connecting train to New Delhi was the Tamil Nadu Express (TN Express). I remembered it’s departure time as 9.30 in the morning. After a good sleep in the night, I reached Chennai early in the morning. As planned, my brother’s friend was there to receive me.  His house was bit far away from the station. I do not remember the name of the place now. When he asked about my travel plan and the departure time, I mentioned that the train I need to board is TN express is departing at 9.30 AM. The he took me in his motorcycle to his home.

When we reached his home, he said that we don’t have much time if the 9.30 AM train must be bordered. So, I quickly ate the breakfast and again rushed back to the railway station in his motorcycle. In between he asked me couple of times about the departure time. I kept on saying that it is at 9.30 AM. I was confident of the timings as I only booked the ticket.

I had one big bag pack and one small pack with all eatables from home. When we reached the Chennai central station, I asked one gentleman standing outside the parking area about the platform number to board the TN express. In my watch it was almost 8.50 AM then. The moment I mentioned about TN Express, that gentleman had a strange look in his face. Then immediately he said,

“It is Platform 10. It will depart sharp at 9.00 AM. Go …go…run”

I felt like being blind for a minute. Frantically I looked at my railway ticket. The time of departure was mentioned as 9.00 AM. Even today I do not know why I had the idea that the departure time is 9.30 AM. I also do not know why I didn’t even bother to check the time much before the departure.  Maybe I was overconfident on seeing the departure time as 9.30 AM. May be I was lost in thoughts.

I could not even thank my brother’s friend. He also asked me to run to the platform. I was already in a frantic mode. I took my bags and ran towards the platform. To make things worse, I was running from the 1^st platform and the train I had to catch was in the 10^th platform. I had less than ten minutes. I thought I won’t make it, if I have to climb the stairs and run all the way to the 10^th platform within that time. There were many things at stake; my dreams, my career and hopes of my family. With all my force I ran like a sprinter. Fortunately, in Chennai central station, there are no stairs between the platforms. I could reach the platforms from the ground level itself.

I ran towards the platform 10.  The last compartment was near me when I reached the train. I asked the guy who stood at the door whether it is TN express or not. He said yes and asked me to get in. By then the train had started moving. I had reservation to travel to New Delhi. But there was no time to look for my reservation compartment. I just threw my bags in to the compartment and jumped in. Soon I found that it was the general compartment and it was already full. Some kind fellows gave me a little space to sit. I thought I will get out of the general compartment and find my seat in the reservation compartment at the next stop. Then I found that TN Express had very limited stops in between. After Chennai the next stop was in Vijayawada in Andhra Pradesh.

I sat in the general compartment. After long time, when the train reached Vijayawada, I approached the Ticket Examiner. He said that since I didn’t show up, my reservation was no more valid. But he said, I can go to any sleeper class and stay there. At that time, I was not wise enough to argue about my rights or to buy another seat by paying him. I just believed what he said and went to one of the sleeper compartments. During the night, I put a newspaper on the floor and slept near the toilet.

I felt sad as well as excited. I felt sad on missing the comfortable travel in spite of having reservation. But felt excited on being the brave lone traveller, facing the troubles, solving everything myself and marching towards the foothills of the mighty Himalayas from God’s own country, all the way from south India.

I reached Delhi safely. My friend’s sister was there to receive me and take me to the Inter State Bus Terminus (ISBT). From there, I took a bus to Dehradun which was going through Roorkee. After five hours of journey, I was in Roorkee. Rest everything happened as per the script written by the best writer. I reached there on time, wrote the examination next day, cleared the entrance examination with second rank, studied there for three years, got the degree of M.Tech in Applied Geology, and finally became the only guy from Geology Department to be selected by Schlumberger that year. A career with Schlumberger was something like a dream come true for a person like me at that time.

As I went through all these phases in life, perhaps I didn’t realize that everything happens for a reason. I just went through those phases without trying to connect the dots. Now when I look back, I feel that everything appears planned by someone. Also, I realize the importance of those precious few minutes before I got into the train. If I was late by few more minutes, perhaps I would have missed the train. Then I would not have reached Roorkee on time before the examination. I would have missed the exposure I got in Roorkee. I wouldn’t kick start my career with Schlumberger. Then, my fate and career would have been something totally different.

I had very small dreams while I was a student doing graduation. I didn’t even dare to dream big. Taking care of my family, giving them some comfort and having a good house in place of the old house with thatched roof where we lived were my small dreams. But the chain of connected incidents, which I believe are not accidental coincidences, took me through a journey, which allowed me to dream more, attain the stability I dreamt of and fulfil the commitments I had. All those events have an origin to the precious few minutes I had in front of the Chennai Central station. I thank the almighty for everything, the good and bad. In bad times, he showed me the way to sail through it and gave the courage to face it. In good times, he let me enjoy the comforts and happiness I deserved. I thank him for every minute in my life, especially for those precious minutes, without which I would have been sitting somewhere else right now, doing something else, instead of telling you my story.

Jose

Bangalore

22 Jan 2021

Christmas - now and then

 

Which parents would play pranks on their kids? Well, I did one this year to my six-year-old daughter Joanna. Does it qualify as a prank? I do not know. But surely, I lied to her, with a good intent. I would request you to be patient and read though this  to know why?

Throughout my life, the month of December has been a month of excitement. Sometimes that excitement was accompanied by nervousness and sadness as well. If I look back, there were different phases for my Christmas celebrations.

When I was a kid and a schoolboy, the month of December was that of absolute joy. Once the school closes for Christmas holidays, the festive mood would set in. Golden or red colored stars made up of glossy paper will be lit in front of my house. I would be anxiously waiting for the postman to deliver beautiful Christmas greetings. Perhaps kids of the current generation who are used to sending greetings in WhatsApp and facebook, may not be able to understand the kind of warmth and happiness brought though paper Christmas cards. Cards from all relatives, and some friends, would decorate my study room and I had a grand collection of cards which I collected since many years. Before the 25^th of December, there would be Christmas carol party visiting our house and singing melodious carols. On Christmas eve, our house will be busy with my mom and sisters preparing for the celebrations next day. They will be preparing delicious snacks and would keep the ingredients ready for the delicious “appam” (pan cake) for the Christmas day. They will also prepare many snacks. On the Christmas day we will have many visitors. Some of them  our family friends and others our relatives. Most of them will bring Christmas cake and join us either for breakfast or for lunch. The delicious breakfast or lunch will be followed by an assortment of cakes- Plum cakes, cakes with icing on top etc. For some more days, my dominant snack item throughout the day would be cakes, right after I wake up till, I hit bed. It was a wonderful time.

 When I was in College, the situation didn’t change much. What changed was me. I was no more a kid. I was a teenager. More than my IQ, my EQ was taking a steep ride upwards. I was becoming more and   more aware of the situations around me. I was conscious of the financial situation at home and the responsibilities each member had to undertake.  I realized that every Christmas, my mom and sisters would be working non-stop inside the kitchen, preparing dishes for all of us. Visitors will come and go. Once the merry mood of the day subsides, my mom and sisters would be dead tired. I am talking about a time when we used to manage all household chores by ourselves and we didn’t have any maids to help. Of course, having a maid was a luxury for us even to imagine at that time. As a teenager becoming aware of this, I was worried. But I didn’t have a solution. Even while enjoying the Christmas feast, a part of me will be in the kitchen, thinking about my mom and sisters.

When I was studying for graduation, some of my friends, including girls, asked me to invite them for Christmas. I was in dilemma. On one hand I was happy to invite my good friends to my home and let them be part of our celebrations. I was happy to share the joy of Christmas with them. On the other hand, I was worried that I was adding more guests to the list of people who would anyway be visiting us. I had around ten friends whom I wanted to invite. More than this, I was bothered by an inferiority complex that was hidden in my mind for many years. My house was a thatched house (roof made up of coconut leaves), which stood like a historical monument in that area, surrounded by all good modern houses. It was literally in a semi dilapidated condition. Perhaps, with the maturity I have today, I wouldn’t have worried. But at that time, wishing secretly to god to help me with improving life conditions, I was nervous and sad. With our financial condition at that time, it was impossible for my family to build a better home.  A part of me was feeling ashamed even with the thought that my friends would see me living in a thatched house made up of mud walls. The other part desperately wanted to bring friends home. Finally, amidst the dilemma, I made a call to invite them. I still remember the scene vividly in my mind when my friends saw me greeting them in front of my thatched house, with trembling hands and a nervous mind. But I overcame that few seconds of intimidation very quickly. We had a good time together in the true spirit of Christmas. I was happy that I invited them for Christmas.

After I got a job and I built my own house, of decent standards, I decided to take my friends to a hotel where I can treat them for Christmas. Christmas should be the time for celebrations. So, I insisted my aged mom not to prepare too many items at home. I would order few things from outside so that my mom and sister can get some rest and in fact they can use that time to talk to the visitors we have. What is more important is to have the family gathering and enjoy the time together.

As I have chosen to be a geologist, my life was almost like that of a gypsy. Travelling and being away from my parents most of the time were the norms. I would visit my own house like a visitor once or twice a year when I get my annual leave. It was mostly during Christmas I used to go home. Even after marriage, mostly I had Christmas celebration at home either at my family or with my wife’s family. Then life changed. I was posted in Malaysia for four years. My little daughter Joanna was born during that time. She added a whole new level of happiness to our lives. We tried to make the Christmas a joyful event with her. Sometimes I could not travel to hometown. Then I would celebrate Christmas with my small family, wherever we are. When Joanna was one year old, we went to Singapore and we will not forget the great Christmas we had there. Though we were on our own, the festive mood, the ambiance in the city filled with Christmas mood  and Joanna’s smile were more than enough to light up our Christmas spirits.

Well, now let me come to the point where I started the story. This year, despite being an unprecedented year full of challenges, me and my wife were thinking of how to make the Christmas special for our daughter. Even though we are in house arrest since February, the mood of Christmas was setting in by end of November itself. We were planning for the Christmas related activities. It was then Joanna asked me

“Papa, is Santa Claus real? Does he  live in the North Pole and brings toys for Kids? “

Last year as an honest parent, I had told her, that Santa exists only in stories. But somehow when she asked that question again, with lot of curiosity, I thought for a while, before telling her anything. Immediately I thought of playing an innocent prank.  I said.

“Some people say he is real. For those who believe in him, perhaps he is real”

“Ok. If that is the case, if I believe in him, will he bring gifts to me too?”

“Of course Joanna, if you believe, he will” I said.

That conversation ended, there. I discussed this and the plan I had in mind, with my wife. We then decided to put some excitement to the whole plan. Next day during our casual chat, I encouraged Joanna to write a letter to Santa asking for gifts. I had actually underestimated the reasoning capacity of a six-year-old kid when I made that suggestion. Though she took up the idea, she started showering lot of questions to me.

“Papa, it is Corona time now. There are no flights. Then how will my letter reach Santa? He stays in North pole, right? She asked me.

 “Don’t worry Joanna, I will find a way. There are many children waiting to send letters to Santa. I will ask the security uncle to collect all letters and to make arrangement to send it to Santa.”

That evening, I asked my nephew, Tarun, to play a role of Santa in this prank. I changed his name in the contact list of my phone to Santa and asked him to put up a profile picture of Santa in WhatsApp. Being a nice boy, he readily agreed to play the role. I then deliberately kept my phone near my daughter and pretended to be busy in my office work. I had asked Tarun to call in my phone and speak like Santa. As scripted perfectly, he called few minutes later. My daughter was happily watching her cartoon programs in TV, when she saw the phone ringing. She was extremely excited to see the caller as Santa.

“Papa , Papa, Look, Santa Claus is calling”

Again, as planned, I too pretended to be super excited. I took the call and we talked loudly, with speaker mode on. My nephew spoke to Joanna and asked what gifts she wanted. As she was excited and shy at the same time, she could not think of any gifts immediately. So, my nephew asked her to write a letter mentioning the gifts she had in mind.

That night, she wrote a nicely decorated letter to Santa. She wanted three gifts, a "toy tea set", a "Santa costume", and a "princess mask". I promised her to send the letter to North pole, through the security guard. Next day I took the letter, went down and kept it in the dashboard of my car. As soon as she woke up, she started asking me about the letter.

“Papa did you post my letter?

“Papa, would it have reached Santa?”

“Papa, I still wonder, how the security guard will send it to North pole when Corona virus is still there”

To keep her hope and Christmas spirits alive I said.

“Don’t worry Joanna. Santa must get the letters. He will figure out a way to get it. You don’t worry about that too much”.

That day itself, I searched in Amazon and ordered for the toy tea set and Santa costume. Unfortunately, there was no princess mask available. As it was COVID time, all that available in the name of masks were just face masks for prevention of infection. So, I didn’t order that. We thought of convincing her with some replacement gifts later.

Since I ordered these items much before Christmas, it took only three four days for the two items to arrive though Amazon. I took extra care for receiving the parcel while Joanna was not sitting near the front door. I kept it hidden from her view. In the night, I unpacked the toy tea set and put them into a gift bag and put that inside the stockings she kept hanging on the bedroom door handle, anticipating Santa to put the gifts. I also wanted to write a reply to her letter. Though my initial idea was to print one, just to avoid my handwriting, I couldn’t do as my printer cartridge was empty. Then I decided to write a letter in my own handwriting, deliberately trying to alter it a bit. While she was fast asleep, I kept the toy tea set in the gift bag, inside the stockings. Sadly, the Santa costume that came was much smaller, though I ordered a larger size. So, the only gift I could arrange was the toy tea set.

The next day morning when she woke up, she saw something protruding from the stockings. She immediately jumped out of the bed and grabbed the stockings. Her little eyes were filled with excitement on seeing the gift and the letter from Santa. As she carefully opened the gift box and saw the toy tea set, she screamed with happiness. Equally, as parents, we also felt that excitement on seeing our little one experiencing the joy of getting gift from Santa. Then came few unexpected questions from our daughter.

“Papa, did it actually come from Santa.? Or did you order it from Amazon?. Also, this letter…it looks like your handwriting. Did you write it?”

First question was not surprising as she is used to seeing me order things from Amazon very frequently. But I never thought that she will analyze my handwriting. In fact, one day before, I had prepared a "treasure hunt" game for her and made lot of instructions in my own handwriting, which she had to read through. She immediately tried to correlate that with the letter from Santa. Now I had a choice, either to reveal the truth and say that I bought all the gifts through Amazon and wrote the letter myself or deny it and keep the belief alive. Deliberately, I decided to stick to the second choice. Sometimes, it is good to stick to certain beliefs, as long as it does not hurt, self and others and it only provides positive outlook. Anyway, in few years’ time, she will realize the truth behind Santa and she will also realize the lies I told were with real good intention only.

“No Joanna, neither I ordered them nor I wrote the letters. Anyway that is not important. What is important is that you got your gifts. Isn’t it?

“Why he didn’t bring all the three gifts I asked? Is it because I was bit grumpy these days?”

“Not at all my dear. Didn’t you read the letter from Santa?

She couldn’t agree anymore and she was happily playing with her new toy sets. My wife had already ordered two other toys in place of the two items we couldn’t get as per Joanna’s original request. Till those items arrived, she used to check the stockings everyday morning to see if Santa has kept his promise or not. In few days' time I arranged for two replacement toys which I placed in a gift bag on the door handle along with a letter from “Santa”.

As suggested by my wife, I tried to make this year’s  Christmas special for our daughter. I don’t know if I rose up to her expectation. But definitely I tried to make it memorable. Apart from bringing the excitement of Santa’s presence, we had good family time together, experimenting with cooking and a newly discovered passion of acrylic pour painting. I played the roles of Santa to get Joanna the gifts she needed, an assistant chef to my wife for making homemade Christmas cake and the traditional Appam (a kind of pan cake) on the Christmas day, and assistant to my daughter for beautifying the house with Christmas decorations. Though it was a strange Christmas, as COVID restrictions didn’t allow us to travel and visit any of our relatives, we used the self -imposed restrictions for better family time, just with the three of us.

As I step into the next year, I remember with gratitude, that I was able to celebrate this Christmas  with my family. Despite the pandemic, I could fulfill all my family needs and spent the Christmas day happily. Even when there was dullness around us, we tried to lift our spirits. I truly consider myself fortunate. Many people were not that fortunate to celebrate Christmas like me. All I want to do at this moment, is to join the countless men and women who are praying that the world changes soon and the life springs back to normalcy. I don’t know by when and how. But I am sure  we all will get through this pandemic. Sincerely hoping to play the role of Santa again, and spread the joy of Christmas in many more years to come..

Jose Varghese

Bangalore

4th Jan 2021