The birthday party

Vacations are always good. Refreshing and relaxing. The only difficult part is to bring back the rhythm of the office work after a long vacation. This time also it was not different.

Nearly after two years of hectic work schedule, I took a month long vacation. On the first Sunday of April, I left Mumbai and went to my hometown in Kerala with my wife Meera and daughter Aparna. As usual, the vacation was over in the blink of an eye. I met my old friends, relatives, and explored new places. It was a month of total relaxation and fun.

Deliberately I didn’t use my cell phone while on vacation. I kept it off most of the time. Otherwise I would be opening the floodgates of calls from my clients, who would demand almost everything in a short time. As a service delivery manager, I am supposed to rise beyond the expectations of my clients...always.

I woke up very early that day. I reached office by seven in the morning. As expected, I was greeted by a big pile of E-mails, requiring my immediate attention. After having a quick glance through them and few brief meetings with my manager, I was fully engaged with the piled up work. Though many people came to greet me, I didn’t spend too much time with them. I was neck deep with work load. What a wonderful reception after vacation!

I had to skip lunch. After finishing the most urgent jobs, when I looked at my watch, it was 4.45 PM. I could hardly realize how time slipped away. I closed the files kept on my table and stepped out of my cubicle to stretch my legs. The work area outside was almost empty.

‘Where all these people have gone?’

I wondered. It was an unusual scene in the office at 5 PM. Usually the whole workforce would be present till 7.PM at least. Then I saw our accountant Gopi rushing towards the main door. On seeing me he asked

‘Hey Ajay. Are you not coming for the party?’

‘Which party?’ I yelled

As it was the first day after vacation, I was yet to catch up with the office life. I had no clue which party Gopi was talking about

‘C’mon Ajay. Look at your mail box. It’s Freddy’s daughter’s birthday party. The whole office must be there. I am already late for it. If you join..I will see you there.’

Without explaining further Gopi went out in a hurry. As the door slammed behind him, I stood there bit agitated.

Freddy...he is my best friend in office. Also, my buddy since college days. Why didn’t he invite me for the birthday party? Intentionally he won’t do that for sure. I thought of calling him to complain. I took my cell phone and dialled his number.

‘Hi Freddy..How are you my friend?’

‘I am fine Ajay. Where have you been? I guess you simply disappeared for a while. I have been trying to contact you since many days’

‘Are you seeking an anticipatory bail for not inviting me for your daughter’s birthday?’. I said to tease Freddy.

‘C’mon Ajay. Do you think I can miss you? Do you think Grace would miss to invite you? Your phone was switched off whenever I tried. Also..for the party..I sent out e-mails to everyone. I am sure you must not have seen the mail. ‘

‘Buddy..I was just kidding..trying to pull your legs. I was on a month long vacation. Most of the time, I was cut off from the outside world as I kept my phone off. I joined today only. Definitely didn’t see all the mails. By the way whose’ birthday is today.? Marias’ or Nikitas’?

There was complete silence for few seconds. Then Freddy said

‘Ajay..Its Maria’s birthday. Party is not a big one. But I called everyone in our office. Apart from them, Maria’s close friends and some of our relatives...that’s all. Anyway..You please don’t look for any excuses and come here immediately. I want here buddy’

‘Ok Ok. I will be there in 45 minutes if the traffic is not so bad. See you there’. I said and disconnected the phone.

As I was already late, I couldn’t buy any gifts for Maria. I thought I will buy her a gift some other day, when I would visit Freddy with my family. Freddy is my extended family. His wife Grace and my wife Meera are best friends too. Maria and Nikita, his daughters, were very font of me. Maria really liked the little magic tricks I used to show her. So she nicknamed me as ‘magic uncle.’

When I reached the old fashioned apartment in Santacruz west, there were no one at Freddy’s house. Though I repeatedly pushed the calling bell no one answered. I called Freddy again

‘Freddy..I am in front of your house. But it seems no one is inside. Where is the party? Is it not held here?’

‘Ajay..it’s here only. Come to the ground floor club house. If you can’t find out, ask the watchman. He will direct you. ‘

As I walked towards the club house, I could hear the noises of children playing around. Some melodious english songs were heard in the air. Someone was playing them on a piano. There were many colour balloons and other decorative materials placed all over the entrance and the hall. Inside, in big fluorescent letters it was written on the wall

“Happy Birthday Maria”

‘Wow..beautiful!’ I said to myself. I was amazed to see the vibrant colours filling the surroundings in that nice evening. Happiness seemed to be radiating everywhere. My eyes searched for Freddy. I saw him talking to some of his guests at the corner of the hall. I saw many familiar faces too. After exchanging greetings with them, I walked towards Freddy.

‘Freddy..sorry for being late. I couldn’t get any gift for Maria this time. I am coming straight from office. But don’t worry .. I will bring her a cute present this weekend.

Freddy had a pale smile. He came close and hugged me.

‘Thanks for coming Ajay. Our family missed you a lot.’ Freddy whispered.

‘One month of mummy’s food at home. Have I become fatty? I asked him with a smile.

‘Not at all. You are the same, as you were before.’

‘Where is Grace? Where is the birthday girl? At least I can give her a birthday hug and kiss. I said. My eyes started looking for Maria.

Freddy didn’t answer me. He just started at me. I saw his lips trembling. His eyes seemed wet. I could sense something wrong in his eyes. After all he is my best friend. I can recognize his feelings from his facial expressions.

‘Freddy..Is everything OK?. I guess it is not. It seems .. You are definitely not in a mood of a birthday celebration. Tell me.. Is there anything bothering you?

Freddy put his hands on my shoulder, closed his eyes and bowed his head down.

‘Maria..Is she OK? I asked Freddy in a low voice. My voice was already breaking.

I wanted to ask Freddy again about Maria and the uneasiness I saw on his face. Before I could speak, another loud voice grabbed my attention. It was reverend father Isaac of the Santacruz catholic church.

‘My dear sons and daughters..Let me welcome all of you on this wonderful evening. You all know the reason why we have gathered here. We are here to celebrate our beloved Maria’s birthday. Many of you might have been surprised by the invitation letter sent by Freddy and Grace last week. I was surprised too. Since I started serving God, I have never seen a birthday party invitation like that. It is truly special and different from all such birthday parties I have attended. ..A birthday party for a person who is really special...a person who is no more with us.

Three weeks back, we all gathered in Freddy’s home to bid farewell and give last kisses to our beloved angel..Maria. It was not leukaemia that took her away from us. God almighty loved that child very much. It was his decision to summon her. He wants her beside his thrown. That’s why she left us. Today..I want to share something about Maria with you.

During her last moments, Maria wrote a small and beautiful letter to her parents. If you read it, you will realize that how close she was to God and how wise and intelligent she was. She has expressed great thoughts in that letter which shows a maturity much beyond what a girl of her age can show.’

Father Isaac paused for few moments. I was shocked on hearing that Maria is no more. A deep sadness engulfed me. Maria, Freddy’s nine year old daughter, was a leukaemia patient. It was diagnosed two years back. Since then the family had been trying to cope up with her frequent hospitalizations. In spite of the treatments the disease progressed. Few months back doctors told Freddy that Maria made good progress by responding very well to the treatment. That came as a light at the end of the tunnel. I remember sharing Freddy’s happiness on hearing about Maria’s recovery.

What could have gone wrong since then? Was the initial recovery just a temporary retreat of her illness? What happened when I was on vacation? So many questions popped up in front of me. But then..Why is this birthday party?. As I stood there in utter disbelief, I saw father Isaac taking a piece of paper from his pocket and holding it in front of his thick black framed specks. It was Maria’s last letter he mentioned. Father Isaac read that letter for everyone.

‘Dear papa and mamma

I often see angels in my dreams. Sometimes I see myself sitting beside Jesus. He blesses me, runs his hand on my hair and smiles at me. I no more feel the weakness caused by my illness and medicines. I am feeling good papa. I think I am going to his place.

After I am gone, will you cry for me? Please don’t. Please be happy for me, as I am going to be with Jesus.

Papa...if I make a request... will you do it for me? I know you will. You had always fulfilled my wishes.

If I don’t make it to my tenth birthday..Would you celebrate that with all my friends and loved ones? But papa..As seen in memorial prayers, I don’t want anyone to cry for me. I don’t want anyone to wear black and white dresses. I want everyone to wear colourful dresses and be happy. Ask Janet and Jincy to wear that pink middy and top. . I like that dress very much .Papa..You wear that dark brown coat. You would look handsome. Mamma.. You should come in that long red skirt. You always looked great in that. Put a lot of colour balloons everywhere in the room. Also please ask Nisha aunty to play my favourite songs on keyboard. Don’t forget to light ten candles on a big chocolate cake. If I make it to my tenth birthday, that’s how I would like to celebrate.

If I am not there..Please tell everyone not to cry for me. Let everyone laugh and be happy. Will that be difficult papa? If I am with Jesus, that would be a real blessing for me. Then why shouldn’t everyone be happy?

I am feeling lighter and happier now. The needle pricks are no more painful. I feel like being carried through the silky clouds by angels. All around me I see smiling faces only. As I walked with Jesus, I saw grandpa too.

Papa..I love you a lot. Mamma..I love you too. Nikita is very naughty..Tell her that I love her so much. Please don’t feel like missing me. I would be with Jesus and you all forever.

Loving you a lot

Hugs and kisses

Maria.

There was pin drop silence in the club house. I saw few people covering their faces and wiping tears. Some kind of unexplainable sadness conquered me. I felt I may cry. Father Isaac continued.

‘Dear sons and daughters..This kid’s letter was an eye opener for me. She taught me a better way of dealing with the loss of someone dear and near. Look at the way she envisioned her last moments. She wrote this letter the same night she left us.

When we lose our beloved ones..What do we do? We mourn the vacuum they leave in our lives. We leave ourselves at the mercy of time to heal the wounds that we inflict on ourselves. But look at Maria. She looks at the imminent death in a different way. She realized it as the culmination of her journey in earth before she returns to the god’s abode. She had no doubt about her re union with Jesus in heaven. She is really a blessed kid. She had a strong faith in Jesus. See what she wants from us. She wants all of us to be happy. She doesn’t want a single tear drop from our eyes for her. I am happy to have known an angel like her. I am happy to have spent so much time seeing her smile with us. She reminds us that death is inevitable..If not today.. Tomorrow. Then why to be sad..Especially if the final destination is the god’s abode. I am sure Maria is looking at us from heaven. Let us celebrate her birthday exactly the same way she wished. ‘

I was standing near Freddy. I held his hands in mine. Though he tried to bring a smile on his face, I knew he was struggling. Marias’ best friends Janet and Jincy came forward to cut the birthday cake. Everybody sang in unison

“Happy birthday to you..Happy birthday to you...

Happy birthday dear Maria..Happy birthday to you.

All the kids came forward to get their share of the cake. The sober air was then filled with giggles and laughter. Then Nisha Jacob, the Sunday school teacher, started playing some melodies on the keyboard. All of them were Marias’ favourite devotional songs

In one corner of the hall, Freddy’s wife Grace was wiping her eyes with a scarf. She looked beautiful in her long red skirt. She was leaning on to someone’s shoulder. Though she tried to put up a brave face with a smile, I could see her breaking up very often. So was Freddy. It was not an easy deal. When I hugged him once more..I felt his rapid heartbeats. He was crying then. For a while I didn’t stop him. After few minutes I said

‘Freddy.. Cheer up. There in heaven, Maria won’t be feeling happy if you cry. You have to fulfil her last wish. I know it is hard. ..It’s easy for me to preach. But you need to do it. Like you always fulfilled her wishes..C’mon..Wipe your eyes...smile and be happy. Let her see you with a smiling face’

It took some time for Freddy to control his grief. He looked into my eyes. After hugging me he said.

‘Thanks Ajay...thanks a lot for being with me. Your presence was really strengthening me.’

‘Freddy...you are my best friend. You don’t have to thank me’. I said

By nine all the guests were gone. I was the only one remaining. I spent some time with Freddy and Grace. I didn’t speak anything. We communicated through the silence prevailed there. Then it was time for me to leave. I put my hands on Freddy’s shoulders and said

‘Freddy..I feel proud to have known Maria. Be proud that you are her father. Be happy that she is with Jesus. Her presence would be here with all of us forever. .I will leave now. Tomorrow I will come with Meera. Go and sleep now .You guys need some rest. ‘

As I walked towards the taxi stand, I looked up to the starlit sky. It was like a full moon day. The black shades on the yellowish moon resembled the silhouette of a girl walking with an old man..With a long beard.

‘Is that Maria? ...or I am under hallucination?’ I wondered while getting into the taxi