Sunday, August 23, 2020

Poem: Like a thorn in my heart

 



I wanted to forget that

 like a bad dream

But it hut me

Like a thorn in my heart

 

There was this young girl

Lovely and fair

Cooling my mind like

The rain in the sand

 

Songs of the birds and

The breeze in the air

I thought, will let my

Love for her bloom

 

Desire to tell her, when

Burned like a fire

I’s like a lovebrid

Flying into fire

 

And when I loved her

I never knew

My, once wounded  heart is

Going to be hurt

 

When I did tell her she

simply said no

I knew it will pinch me like a

thorn in my heart

 

Why did I love her

Though she didn’t want

Why did I tell her

Though she didn’t ask

 

I never knew that

The love in my heart

Was For someone who was

Not to be mine

 

To hide out my grief form

The world, all around

I masqueraded with

smile on my face

 

I,  tried  to forget the love

 I had for her

But, still it hurt me

Like a thorn in my heart

 

If there is someone

Destined to be mine

I’ll trouble her with 

My love,forever

 

If there is someone

Destined to be mine

I’ll trouble her with 

My love, forever

 


 

 




Sunday, August 16, 2020

Near... But Far

 



The way you look, way you smile,

Puts me in a spell

Your words and sounds, like music notes

Touch my heart so deep

 

 The fragrance when you are near

Is like thousand roses bloomed

I am pulled so hard, close to you

By what you really are

 

I still remain as a stranger in your eyes

I feel you’re so near, still beyond reach.

 

Why don’t you come out from

The hideout of your home

I’m waiting to see you dear

Right outside your door

 

Why don’t you why don’t you

Say you love me too

I have been waiting to

Hear you say me so

              

But those words remain as elusive

Only in dreams that may come true

 

The way you look, way you smile,

Puts me in a spell

Your words and sounds, like music notes

Touch my heart so deep

 

The fragrance when you are near

Is like thousand roses bloomed

I am pulled so hard, close to you

By what you really are

              

I still remain  as a stranger in your eyes

I feel you’re so near, still beyond reach.

Thursday, August 13, 2020

kaathirippu (waiting)



അരികിൽ വരുമോ പ്രിയ സഖി നീ 

ഇനിയും അകലാതിതു വഴിയേ 

കുയിലിൻ നാദം തോൽക്കും നിൻ 

ഗാനം കേൾക്കാൻ ഞാനിരിപ്പൂ 

ആ സ്വര വീചിയിൽ ഞാനറിയാതെയെൻ 

മാനസം ആനന്ദ നൃത്തമാടും 


പ്രണയം നിറയും നിൻ മിഴിയിൽ 

ഒരു മിഴി നീരായ് ഞാനലിയും 

പവിഴം പൊഴിയും നിന്നധരം 

എൻ അധരങ്ങളിൽ വന്നണയും 

ആ മൃദു സന്ധ്യയിൽ 

ഞാനറിയാതെ എൻ 

ഹൃദയത്തിൽ ആയിരം പൂ വിടരും 


അരികിൽ വരുമോ പ്രിയ സഖി നീ 

ഇനിയും അകലാതിതു വഴിയേ 

കുയിലിൻ നാദം തോൽക്കും നിൻ 

ഗാനം കേൾക്കാൻ ഞാനിരിപ്പൂ 

ആ സ്വര വീചിയിൽ ഞാനറിയാതെയെൻ 

മാനസം ആനന്ദ നൃത്തമാടും 



ജോസ് 

13 ആഗസ്ത് 2020 

Tuesday, July 21, 2020

A shoulder to cry on



No matter, how strong you are,
At times, you need, a shoulder to cry on.
If you are feeling sad, if you are feeling blue,
You need, to find, a shoulder to cry on.
 
It may be a friend, it could be your spouse,
May be someone, you get along,
But you know, you need, A shoulder to cry on.

No matter, how strong you are,
At times, you need, a shoulder to cry on.
You may be, a macho man,
Who might think, men will never cry;
You may be, a strong women,
Who can do, all that men can do;
But still there will be times,
When you will need, a shoulder to cry on.
 
No matter, how strong you are,
At times, you need, a shoulder to cry on.
When your mind play the games,
Put your heart in much pain,
Make you feel all alone,
And you feel like crying,
You need, to find, a shoulder to cry on.
 
When it rains grief around, Pull you down into hell,
Your soul is torn apart,killing you in pain,
You need, to find, a shoulder to cry on.
 
No matter how strong you are,
At times, you need, a shoulder to cry on.
Don’t give up, my dear friend, Keep all your hope aflame,
Don’t hide your emotions,Give that a path to flow,
Go out and find, Whom you can reach,
For a shoulder to cry on.
No matter, how strong you are,
At times, you need, a shoulder to cry on.
If you are feeling sad, if you are feeling blue,
You need, to find, a shoulder to cry on.
 
No matter, how strong you are,
At times, you need, a shoulder to cry on.


Saturday, July 18, 2020

Ghazal - Ek Bat Purani


दोस्तों , कभी आपने प्यार किया है क्या? प्यार वापस न मिलने की वजे से दिल कभी दुःखी हुवा है क्या?
कभी कभी मुछे लगता है की , खोये प्यार की गम से टूटे हुवे दिल की ज़ख़्म को भरने के लिए उस प्यार की यादें ही काफी है. इस पर मैं ने एक कविता लिखी है. प्यार के बारे में जितनी कवितायेँ आज थक लिखी गयी है , उन कवितावों के समंदर में मेरी यह कविता सिर्फ एक बूँद है. आशा है आप इसे गौर से पढेंगे। ....



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दर्द भरी ये बात पुरानी    इस  मेहफिल में याद आई... इस  मेहफिल में याद आई।

तनहाई में  दर्दे दिल की  गहराईयों में खो गया मैं
अरस  किया मैं  ओ मेरी भगवान  , वापस दो मुछे मेरा प्यार
 खो गए सपने , मंज़िलें  टूटी , बहते रह गए मेरे नैन
दर्द भरी ये बात पुरानी    इस  मेहफिल में याद आई... इस  मेहफिल में याद आई।


इस जीवन के लम्बे सफर में , साथ आवोगे ये वादा किया था
भूल गए तुम वो कस्मे वादे , छोड़के चल गए  मुछको सनम
दिल कहा रो मत , आँसू न बहा , फिर भी रोये मेरे नैन
दर्द भरी ये बात पुरानी    इस  मेहफिल में याद आई... इस  मेहफिल में याद आई।


वक्त गुज़र गए  फिर भी सनम तेरे इंतज़ार में बैदा हूं मैं
उम्र थो बढ़ गयी, पर मेरे प्यार की आग जली है अब भी सनम
हस्ता हूं अब, मैं  दर्दे दिल से , तेरे आंखों की झलक मिलने की
इंतज़ार में रहता हूं सनम

दर्द भरी ये बात पुरानी    इस  मेहफिल में याद आई... इस  मेहफिल में याद आई,
इस  मेहफिल में याद आई। 

Friday, July 17, 2020

The Shadow



Justin was in a hurry to reach home. So he took the shortcut route avoiding the highway. He knew it was risky to take that road with sharp bends, especially in the night. But still he decided to take that route. He was almost reaching a nervous breakdown after his business meetings did not yield any results, which disappointed him a lot.
He was riding his motorbike through the poorly lit road in the night, with his mind still stuck at the business meetings. As he raced on the road absentmindedly, he didn’t notice the speeding truck that came from the opposite direction.

Thuuddddd….!!

In a split second, Justin was thrown over the trees on the side of the road.



He opened his eyes when he heard two persons arguing with each other. But the place was completely unfamiliar to him. Even those people he didn’t recognize. He was standing in front of a big closed gate. The boundary walls on either side of the gate looked endlessly long. He could not see the floor he was standing. The whole area appeared to be floating over clouds.

“Am I still having a hangover? I didn’t drink too much during the meeting!” He whispered to himself .

Then he noticed the two people in front of him arguing with each other. They were dressed strangely. One was wearing a dark hooded overcoat with his face almost covered, while the other was wearing a white dress with wings.

“Did I reach some fancy dress competition? “  He began to wonder.

“Hello guys.. Would you be kind enough to tell me which place is this? Somehow I lost my way and reached here. I need to get back home.”


“Well..you didn’t loose your way son…you have come to the right place. This is the gate to heaven”. Said the lady in white dress with the wings.


“Heaven?  Are you guys kidding me? Please leave me. I am not in a mood to enjoy your pranks. I am already going through tough time”. Justin said

“ No son..we are not kidding. I am the guardian angel and this is the god of death. Between us we take care of all of you guys from the moment you are born. You were brought here by the god of death thinking that your time was over …but…”

“ But what? Its interesting to hear your joke at this moment in the night…please go on. I am here to listen”. A visibly annoyed Justin started shouting.

“If my time is over ..then you let me inside…why stop me at the gate” Agitated and angry, Justin started to move towards the gate. It was then the man with the dark hood, crossed his path and stopped him. In a baritone voice he said

“It seems you cannot enter. There was some mistake and actually your time is not over. You will have to go back. We are extremely sorry as it was a mistake from our side”

“ Now I am lost. You guys proclaim to be gods and angels ..and you say you brought me here by mistake. I am supposed to believe all these.,…eh? . Justin became furious.

“Son…yes we made a mistake. So we would like to compensate you for the trouble. As we send you back to your life, you can ask one boon from us. With that boon, you should leave this place at once. You do not belong here ..now.” Said the guardian angel.

Still thinking that the two people around him are playing pranks on him, he said sarcastically…

“Ok guys…so you are gods ..taking care of birth and death…fine. I will ask for a boon. Pointing his fingers to the person in dark hood, he said

“ I want to see you in front of my eyes whenever someone is about to die”
“ you really want that as the boon? “ Asked the guardian angel.
“Yes..I do. If you are gods, you can do that ..right?” said Justin with that sarcastic smile.

All he could hear was a loud thunder which followed an eye blinding lightning. He felt like falling down though the sky, defying gravity, slowly  like a feather falling through the air.


When he woke up, he realized that he was lying on the banks of the road. His motorbike was lying at some distance from him. He felt the pain on the cuts and bruises he had. He tried to recollect the collision with the truck. He vividly recollected the strange conversation he had with the guardian angel and the god of death.  He dismissed it as the hallucinations that followed the impact of the accident.  He lifted the motorbike and went to the nearby clinic to get himself treated for the minor cuts on his body.

Few weeks passed by. He had almost forgotten the accident he had and the strange encounter with the gods, which anyway he dismissed as hallucinations. In fact, he didn’t have time to think about all those. He was always busy in building his own life from the miserable beginnings he had.  Business was not in great shape. But he never gave up. He moved on with a positive attitude and his efforts were starting to pay.

One evening, he came back from office and was sipping his evening tea, standing on the balcony of his two storeyed house. He watched the pedestrians and the vehicles moving on the road opposite to his house. At the traffic junction people started walking along the zebra crossing during a red light. There were few people taking the zebra line, including an old lady. All of a sudden, Justin noticed a floating shadow appearing beside the old lady who was walking at the edge of the zebra line. Justin felt a shiver passing through his spine. The shadow was very familiar to him.
“Oh my god…it is looking like the man with a dark hood whom I saw during the night of the accident.” Justin murmured.


It was then the hooded man, turned around and looked at Justin. Through the dark hood, he could see two glittering eyes. Even before he could think further, a speeding car which didn’t wait for the red signal crossed the signal and hit the old lady. She could not survive the impact of the collision. As a big crowd gathered around her body, Justin saw the hooded man flying by holding the old lady who appeared like a shadow and vanishing to thin air…

“Oh..my god…so its all real. What I experienced that day is not just hallucination…its real” Justin felt like freezing.

Two months later, Justin had to visit a hospital to see a friend who was recovering from some illness. It was one of the busiest public hospitals in the city. As he walked though the general ward section to go the semi-luxury ward where his friend was admitted, he saw a big crowd near each hospital bed. Doctors and security guards were tying to control the crowd of relatives of the patients. He asked an onlooker about the reason behind the crowd.


“Lot of people consumed the spurious liquor sold from an unauthorised outlet. Now all of them are admitted in serious condition” He said.

Hooch tragedies are common and in spite of repeated warning from the authorities, such incident kept on happening.When Justin finished his visit and returned to the hospital gate, he had to walk through the same general ward again. Crowd was still there. But this time, near many of the beds he could see the same hooded man, whom he met doing his accident. They appeared as shadows floating in the air. He felt his legs were not moving. Some sort of fear engulfed  him. As he walked through the ward, the hooded shadow like figures  looked at him and began to smile.

“ Oh..no..its happening again…. It cannot be true” Justin walked fast to avoid the crowd. Hardly he reached the gate, he could hear the loud cries of the people standing near the patients in the general ward. He turned around to look towards the general ward. Up in the sky he could see many shadow like figures floating and then slowly disappearing into thin air.

Six months passed away. On a summer day, Justin got a call from his aunt asking for help. Her husband was in hospital. As their children were abroad, there was nobody to give a helping hand at the hospital. Justin immediately rushed to the hospital and did everything that was necessary to get his uncle admitted. The old man was having a mild stroke and the cardiologist at the hospital said everything looks fine as he was admitted right on time when the symptoms of stoke appeared. The old man was in the hospital for a week. All those days Justin did everything he could to help his uncle and aunt. The doctor treating the old man confirmed that he will be discharged on Saturday as his condition has improved.

Saturday evening, Justin went to the hospital. After paying all the hospital bills, he was waiting for the nurse to come with the discharge summary and further instructions for follow up. There was a gentle knock on the door. Expecting the nurse or the doctor, he opened the door. Standing at the half opened door was a man wearing a dark hood. Under that hood, he could see the shinning eyes.


In a fit of rage, Justin shouted and hit at the hooded man. But his fist just moved through the thin air only. He saw the hooded man moving inside like a shadow…
“ Justin…what happened son…is everything OK ?” . His aunt asked..

Justin could only watch helplessly the moments that followed. He saw two shadows flying out of the room, while the nurse who came inside was frantically checking the pulse of the old man lying still on the bed.

 It was disturbing experience for Justin. He realized that the incident that followed the accident he had was real and he is living with the boon of being able to see the death approaching people, when it is their time to die. He never wanted such a power to be with him.

He desperately wanted to get ride of  that power he got through the bizarre incident. He realized that, though death in an inevitable thing for every living thing, knowing that earlier than the actual moment can cause much more pain than one can imagine.
In his solitude, he sat on his knees and prayed deeply.


“ Oh God… in a moment of anger, I had asked that boon. I no more want to have that power to see the god of death near anyone who is about to die. Please take away that power from me”

Months passed away. No further encounters he had with the shadows. Life was getting into proper track for him. All his efforts in his business life were paying in a big way. Business flourished. He opened shops in two more places in the city. He had more employees. His life style improved. There were times earlier when he really wanted to end his life as he found the harshness of the life’s realities very hard to endure. But he fought bravely and grabbed his life back from peril. Not only in his business life, but also in personal life, he made progress. He met his life partner unexpectedly.

She was a mutual friend of an employee in his company. He met her during an office party which was open to friends and family. In few meetings and outings with her, he realized that she is the person with whom he should share his life. After thinking for a long time, he decided to propose to her.

He invited her for a dinner at a sea side restaurant. 


At the candle light dinner, he was very nervous . Unlike all the previous conversations, he didn’t know how to start the talk  and  propose to her. The diamond ring he bought for her, was kept in his pocket. Many times during the dinner, he reached his pocket, touched the box of the ring and though he would make the proposal. But every time he tried that  he felt freezing cold.

“Is everything all right Justin? Are you not feeling OK? Asked his girl friend as she was noticing the anxiety on Justin’s face.


“ Eeh…Nothing. I am absolutely  fine”. He  said.

“Excuse me dear for a minute. I will just come back from the wash room…you finish your drinks.”  Justin told his girl friend and went to the washroom

He opened the doors of the washroom. It was empty. He washed his face in the cold running water many times. He practiced the  words  he planned to say to her, few more times in front of the mirror. He was sweating profusely. He bent down near the wash basin one more time to wash his face. Suddenly he felt a gentle touch on his shoulder accompanied by a baritone voice..

“ Son…it’s time to go”

Justin lifted his head up and looked at the washroom mirror. In split second he accepted that chilling reality. Standing behind him was the shadow..the man with the dark hood. Through the dark hood..two glittering and piercing eyes were visible. …….





(Images courtesy: Google)